Archive for October 2009

Wednesday, October 14, 2009 - 7:44 AM § in , ,

Dregs of the Earth

The shocking disclosure last week of our weight lifters having failed doping tests, has caused our nation a great deal of embarrassment. Indian weightlifting has been scarred by the bane of doping for quite sometime, and the present situation isn't really a surprise for those who have been following the sport in India for awhile. However, what is really shocking and surprising is the fact that in spite of being on steroids, most Indian weight lifters still performed miserably in international events!!!

These recent events have cast a shadow of doubt on other sports persons as well. In order to put to rest any doubts regarding doping in India's only sport(for most of the country fellows it is), the Lampoon interviewed Shantakumaran Sreeshanth(SS), one of India's best fast bowlers, and a mallu to boot!(Unfortunately!)

ML:Let's get straight to the point. Are you aware of any cricketers using performance enhancing drugs?

SS:*Putting on fake accent*. No maan! I am note much aware of these things. But even if I were aware I can't tell to in frond of the camera. I will get slapped again!*Gives a maniacal laugh*

ML:Ok fine. Have you ever used performance enhancing drugs?

SS:*Gives maniacal laugh*. Never maan!I don't use dregs to enhance my performance. Otherwise I might have still been in the team!

ML:You have a point there! So you've never taken drugs, um, dregs ever?

SS:Oh!I've taken dregs on a few occasions,but that wasn't to enhance performance or anything. Those dregs just made me do crazy stuff like this!

ML:You've just admitted to taking drugs! They say there is a fine line between honesty and stupidity, but I believe you're on the wrong side of it!

SS:Alla da! I know nobody reads this stupid blog, so I can say whatever I want and get away with it!!Hahaha!!
*Starts doing a little jig, with his characteristic pelvic thrust, accompanied by those weird despicable facial expressions!*

SS:How do you like my new dance moves? I've specially choreographed it to signal my return to international cricket!
*Continues with the tribal jig*

ML:Dude control!People are watching!Sheesh!
*Looks around frantically for a shotgun, but in vain*

And we left him there, oblivious to the world, a crazy mallu doing a crazier jig.