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Archive for April 2010

Thursday, April 15, 2010 - 11:13 AM § in

The Insti that must not be named!

The Lampoon is extremely pleased to present it's readers with an exclusive interview with Mr.Vidiadharan Puller, popularly known as Vidia, who is the Dean, Chairman and President of the International Institute of Strategy and Management (IISM).

ML: Firstly I would like to thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule for participating in this interview.

VP:Not at all. My pleasure!

ML: To start with, given the proliferation of MBA institutes these days, what set's your institute apart from the others?

VP:Well, we our unique in several ways.For example, under our DOTA program, students get an opportunity to go on a study tour abroad(US, Europe etc) and they get to play DOTA with the students of one of  the top 20 B-schools in the world.

ML:DOTA?

VP:Yeah. It's a good team building excersice!Besides we have a lot of tie ups with prestigious global B-schools like Stuck, Fale, Gaylogg and Chaas in the US and Fudge in the UK. We also have student exchange programmes with them.

ML:Sounds impressive.

VP: There's more. All IISM students are eligible for an additional degree in management from the Farton School of business(University of Pencilmania), which is internationally recognized. It therefore comes as no surprise that we have more international placements than even all the IIM's put together!

ML: That is quite a feat!Talking about the IIM's, there is some controversy over your institute being rated ahead of a few IIM's in a recent business survey.

VP:You must be referring to the Jee business survey. We have been ranked ahead of all the IIM's in categories like amount spent on advertising(we win hands down), no of full page ads( same story) and also in indecent, sorry, international exposure.

ML:Yes. But there are doubts being raised over the veracity of these rankings. What's your take on that?

VP: Evidently a case of sour grapes. The Jee survey ranked instis on several important parameters like Course (dis)content, Overall (dis)placements, Global exposure, infrastructure etc and IISM has fared well in all these parameters.We have superior course discontent, superior displacements, especially international ones and superior global exposure, as mentioned earlier. Moreover  we also have superior state of the art infrastructure/facilities. In fact, we even provide all IISM students with free Ipads!

ML:Ok. Fair enough. But as far as the Ipads are concerned, rumor has it that the exorbitant fees you charge more than compensates for it! Anyway moving on, let's talk about Vidhiadharan the person. We hear that you are an accomplished writer as well. How did that happen?

VP:Well I've always had a unique and superior thought process, so I thought it imperative that I pen down some of these thoughts for the benefit of the masses. I've authored two bestsellers; the first titled "How to write like Dickens and get some snatch" which is self explanatory and the other titled "The Great Indian Cream", which is an in depth sutdy of the obsession Indian men seem to have with fairness creams!

ML:I'm sure they would make for some fine reading! Apparently your writing prowess has drawn comparisons between you and VS Naipaul, who incidentally shares your first name?

VP:It's true. As a matter of fact a lot of my friends and associates call me Sir Vidia. I keep telling them I'm not Sir Vidia, I am THE Vidia!

ML:THE Vidia indeed, Mr.Puller!

VP:In fact, I found it so endearing that I named my group as TheVidia group. Our consulting arm is called TheVidia consulting and our ad agency is called TheVidia creative solutions.

ML:Creative is an understatement! Btw TheVidia creative solutions must be coming up with those full page ads in the papers right?

VP:Yes. I'm sure you find them very impressive.

ML:Absolutely! Especially the latest one which claimed that your institute has renowned minds from the world of business and management take guest lectures almost every other day.

VP:Ah! That's one of our best ads till date!

ML:Except  for one minor glitch. The list of guest lecturers included names like Adam Smith, Patrick Blackett, Edward Deming and Alfred Sloan.

VP:Well whatever is stated in the ad is true. What's the glitch?

ML:Of course, there is no doubting the fact that they are all legends in their own right; unfortunately though they've all been long dead.Sigh. The Vidia Puller FTW :|


Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. All characters and institutes featured are fictitious and any resemblance to actual personalities/institutes is purely coincidental and unintentional.