Finally I've gotten down to writing a post about my college.I study in this college which is located in some obscure village near the suburbs of Chennai. The nearest landmark is perhaps Madhya Kailash, which is about 35km away. No seriosly! Most directions to college end with, "From Madhya Kailash just keep going down the road, for like eternity. Eventually you will chance upon the campus(or rather a motley collection of buildings pretending to be one)".

One of the first things that strike you when you enter the campus are the immaculately manicured lawns and gardens. As you approach the admin block, which incidentally is quite some distance from the gate, you come across the 'fountain of eternal filth'. The putrid stench that emanates from the waters gives visitors their first whiff of a dysfunctional educational system. It apparently uses processed sewage water, but it's quite evident that the processing was a complete failure. Rumors abound that it was based on a final year project of some chem department student. Epic Fail.

One of the key features of our college is the generous grant of scholarships to students. Nerds who waste perhaps the best part of their lives cramming for inane university exams are rewarded with academic scholarships to compensate for all the fine things they missed out on. This is to provide some solace to those losers so that they can feel happy about themselves and to encourage a culture of faggotness in general.

Another distinctive feature is the unit tests which we take twice a week. Apparently our management believes that our college is a prestigious institution. According to them since other prestigious institutions like Stanford, Harvard, IIT's etc( I typed this out with a straight face. Honest) have a system of continuous assessment, it is imperative that we too adopt a system of continuous evaluation along similar lines. Evidently none of them have been to any of these institutions, or they would have realized that our ridiculous system is unique in it's absurdity and irrelevance.

The 'IIT analogy' is perhaps taken a bit too seriously . Since IIT's have a negligible population of pretty girls, we too have followed suit and entry into our college's hallowed portals(I typed this out with a straight face too) is forbidden to most pretty faces. Unfortunately the similarity with the IIT's ends there.

Yet another unique distinction is our arbit rule generating algorithm. This was originally developed by some brilliant bloke in our management , using genuine stupidity(and you thought A.I was cool :|) algorithms which create dumber rules by the day. After undergoing extensive testing on the CSE department students, this algorithm is now being put in use for students of the college in general.

The only chaps who seem to have a life are the mechanical engineering students. Afternoon classes are suspended for them almost every other day, and their life is closer to that of an arts college student that an engineering student. Of course the fact that some of them know as much about mechanical engineering as an arts student would is a different matter altogether.

Then again I shouldn't be saying that, for my knowledge of Electronics and Communication is about as extensive as Shilpa Shetty's knowledge about Quantum Electro Dynamics! However, in a university built upon the foundations of rote learning, where stupidity is a virtue, wisdom a vice and randomness a way of life,it's not how much you know but how much you can commit to memory that counts.In fact, nothing else matters.

14 Comments Add Yours ↓

  1. Lol! A very interesting take on the intricacies of the place that you've known well!

    I'll take your word for it :)

  2. vnp #

    eshtud ! nice :D

  3. Anonymous #

    Dear dear Govind,

    What metaphors I say: sewage waters and the putrid educational systems! Wah! But I will not applaud as it describes a sad state of affairs with much left to be desired.

    I would also not hail the humour - very much present - because I know it comes from reflections which are deeply disturbing in some sense rather than comical.

    Just hope, I know I am parochial saying this, you finish off the one year that is left and branch off wherever your heart aand head in conjunction take you!! :-)

    Take care and all the best!! :)

  4. @Rakesh: Thanks! Although things may not be as bad as I make them out to be, it is still a very fair approximation of my coll :)

    @VNP: I'm honored you could find time, despite your many commitments(chemical or otherwise),to comment on this blog :D

  5. @Srini: You're spot on. I think you have by now realized that I lead a sad, miserable life :|

    And you're right, I'm really looking forward to finishing my course. I think this is what they call the light at the end of the tunnel :)

    Thanks for your wishes!

  6. great read...and i didn't keep a poker staright face while readin it... i couldn't. but u know... the strange thing is this rot doens't stop in coll. it's everywhere- even in work places. and that's what's so bloody crazy. everyone's happy to be stupid. maybe we should just play along. :)(stupid smile!)

  7. @Ajai:Thanks! It doesn't stop with college eh? I'm doomed. Sigh :|

  8. the sad life of a college student?

  9. Arc #

    No girl friend(s) aa?

  10. unit tests twice a week in college??? By God, that's so not assessment, but harassment!!!

    My first visit here, just going through some of your posts...Dude, ur mistake: taking ECE instead of Literature... Keep up the good work..Cheers !!!

  11. @Vishesh: Sad life of an AU engg undergrad rather :P

    @Arcy: Don't rub it in :|

    @Buttercup: Lol. Harassment indeed! And we all make mistakes, don't we?
    Anyway thanks!:)

  12. a) I nodded my head vigorously to the CSE department bit.

    b) I am proud to say no amount of testing-algorithms have altered my system.

    c) As much as we lament about our college being poor in a lot of areas, we are blessed to be even availing such facilities, when you look at it from an outsider-cum-fellow-Anna Univ-under-grad's perspective.

    d) As much as you criticize the nerds for being what they are, Govind Paliath, you are one too :D :P

  13. SSN has better figures than CEG :| maybe u expect a lil too much oh lord!

  14. Mech masss!! :D