The Mallu Lampoon

This is the first edition of the Lampoon Interview(LI). The LI features interviews of famous and not so famous people who, owing to their exceptional words or deeds,have been deemed be worthy of being lampooned. For the first edition of the Lampoon interview, we have with us Mugeshwaran Iyer(MI), who has cracked the IIT-JEE with an AIR of 7. He has also been ranked 23rd(national) in the AIEEE and got 97.5% in his CBSE board exam. Join us for the interview of this ,brilliant lad.

LI: Firstly, let me start by congratulating you on your exceptional performance.

MI:Thanks!

LI: Why don't you introduce yourself to our readers?I'm sure they are anxious to know about the secret of your success!

MI:blushes. My name is Mugeshwaran Iyer, and my friends call me Mugesh. All I can say is that I owe my success to my parents, teachers and most importantly to god.

LI:Humility coupled with brilliance. A rare combination indeed!But could you elucidate on your preparation for the benefit of other aspirants?

MI:Well a lot of credit goes to my father. He inculcated a love for learning in me by sending me to vedic mathematics classes when I was just 4 years old. After attending classes for four years, he enrolled me in an institute that trained students for science olympiads and talent search examinations.When I was 10 years old I started learning computer programming from some books that my father bought for me.

LI:Wow!You sure seem to have had an eventful childhood!

MI:Yes, and in that respect I am fortunate. While my peers wasted time on sports, games, movies etc I spent my vacations attending various summer camps like memory enhancement camps, speed mathematics camps etc.I also completed a couple of courses from NIIT.

LI:Whoa! So you never actually took a break?

MI:Of course I did take breaks! I spent my free time solving puzzles and riddles.I used to read a lot too. I was a voracious reader until about 6th std, when I started focusing on academics.

LI:Phew!So when did you realize IIT was where you wanted to study? And when did your preparation start?

MI:When I was about 9 years old my father told me I have to get into an IIT. At the age of 11 I started going for NTSE(National Talent Search Examination) classes. I attended these classes for a couple of years and it really strengthened my fundamentals. I was selected for NTSE when I was in class 8. That really gave me confidence in myself.

LI:You seem to be quite an achiever!And when did your actual IIT preparation begin?

MI:You could say that. I had always stood first in class right from LKG! When I was in class 8 my dad enrolled me in UNFITJEE's integrated classroom program. That was when my serious preparation first began. I began studying for bout 4 hours every day. I also worked on several science projects during this period. I won the national science project competition a couple of times.

LI:stunned. Continue.

MI:UNFITJEE was really the turning point in my life. From 9th to 12th std, I studied nearly 6 hours every day, except for vacations when I used to spend 16 hours every day. I also concentrated on the school syllabus and thus could maintain very good grades. Also when I was in std 11 I started preparing for International Olympiads.

LI:How could you possibly manage to study so much?

MI:merely shrugs his shoulders. It was a bit difficult in the beginning , but eventually I got used to it. Besides, all that effort has paid off!

LI:It sure has paid off! So what are your future plans? Research? MS abroad?

MI:grins sheepishly. Actually I plan on doing an mba. I have already registered for CAT classes! I also plan on learning some basic economics. I would like to work in the finance or marketing sector. Dad told me that it's an excellent career.

LI:What?!After spending almost your entire childhood learning science you now want to do an MBA? If you wanted to do finance or marketing why didn't you do a B.Com or a B.A (Econ)?

MI looks at me aghast. It was a familiar look, one that I had seen on the faces of people who had just watched a Sam anderson movie!His mother, who was bringing a cup of hot filter coffee for me, retraces her steps back to the kitchen, muttering "Abhishtu abhishtu" under her breath.

I realized the interview was over.